2013: A Look Back

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Well 2013 sure didn’t disappoint with its great memories and the not so great memories. Nothing could’ve prepared us for what 2013 had in store.

A lot of changes were made to our family. We had the birth of our daughter. Now our family is complete and things couldn’t be any better. It sure has been an adjustment for all of us, but we get stronger and stronger every day as a family. Aiden, our two year old had to learn that he was not the only baby we had to take care of anymore. This was a bit of a struggle because he is non-verbal for the most part, but we are working on changing that.

Our Son had to start speech therapy which was and is amazing. He started speech therapy in August. He has made such progress working twice a week with his teacher. It can be a challenge some days as he can get very frustrated trying to communicate with us. Aiden is a trooper and we are doing everything we can to help him thrive. He had to get a Frenuloplasty to fix his tongue tie which was preventing him from speaking. This was a horrific experience. He had a terrible recovery because he punctured his tongue right after surgery by biting it.

We took our first family mini vacation and it was a blast! A bit cold but a lot of fun! We went down to the beach. It was so cute to see our son out on the beach with my husband having a great time. We thought for sure that he would hate the sand. He loved it! Even though our children are so young we still make some amazing memories.

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For Christmas this year we had extended family visiting from a few down south. It was so great! Aiden had so much fun playing with his cousins that he has never met before. It was like they were great friends who play together all the time. Maybe that is something children can teach adults. They can teach us how to get along, accept one another, and have a good time!

As for my marriage, I do not think it could be any better. Every marriage and relationship does have its struggles and challenges. By relationships, I mean all types. Relationships with extended family members as well.
I have learned to take a step back and distance myself from those who I feel are having ill feelings towards me. I rarely purposely try and hurt people especially not my family, but I am also not perfect. I am hoping that moving forward in the new year that relationships can be repaired and move forward to a positive place. Its hard when you don’t feel like you fit in or that you don’t belong within a family when you have accepted them. Time will only tell as to what the future holds. I just really hope that something great comes out of all of this.

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When it comes to my health, 2013 was a mess for me. I was pregnant up until June. I am suffering from arthritis in most of my body and my weight has become an issue. I am starting the 17 day diet tomorrow. It should be interesting. I have been on this diet before and lost a lot of weight. I plan on updating every couple of days during so I can look back on my weight loss journey.

I know this post is a bit late, but hey that’s ok! I wish everyone a healthy and happy new year! I am looking forward to what 2014 has to offer.

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What People with No Children Do Not Know…

This post is inspired by a video clip my sister in law showed me. An English Comic was doing stand up and he was talking about what life is like for those who do not have children and for those who do. It got me thinking about how much my life has changed since my son was born. Here are a few scenarios that pertain to my personal life and I’m sure to others as well.

 

When you are exhausted from a long day..

No Kids:
– I am going to bed now. Good night.

Kids:
– ugh I cannot wait for these kids to go to bed.
– No johnny don’t do that you’re going to wake the baby! (Insert crying baby)
– 2 hours later…finally I can go to bed… (insert whinning toddler)
– Mommy I need water… (insert baby crying)
45 minutes later…
-ok NOW I CAN GO TO BED…its only 12am…

When you want to watch your tv show..

No Kids:
– Oh honey look NCIS is on…
– Good babe turn it on!

Kids:
– (Changes Channel and Turns on NCIS)
– Mommy! (Toddler crying)
– ok ok I’ll turn sponge bob back on.

When you want to go out…

No Kids:
– Babe, Lets go out for dinner.
-Ok hun let me grab my purse.

Kids:
– Babe, can you get the baby dressed? Is the diaper bag ready?
-Johnny come here let me put your shoes on.
– no no no! Johnny come here!
– ok where is your jacket?
– No it’s not time to play. We are going bye bye.
– Did you go potty?
– Come on lets go!

(3 hours later you get out the door)

Talking on the phone..

No Kids:
– hey what’s going on?
– oh not much just sitting here relaxing with a glass of cabernet.
– that’s great. I had a great date night out last night and slept until noon today.
With Kids:
– hey what’s going on?
– Not much just in the middle of…. No Johnny! Give that back to the baby! Ugh don’t climb on that! No don’t put that in your mouth! Stop jumping on the couch. (Baby crying)
– I’ll have to call you back.

Going to the Movies…

No Kids:
– What time is the movie?
– 8
– ok great lets get dinner beforehand

Kids:
– Did you get a sitter?
– Yeah they should be here in 15min…
(20 minutes after sitter arrives)
– ok and this is how Johnny likes a story read to him and make sure you give him cuddle bear and oh no juice after 7 and make sure he brushes his teeth….
(10 minutes later finally leave)
– We are going to be late.
– ugh oh well lets just grab something to eat and go home…
(Sits down to eat and phone rings)
– Hi Johnny won’t stop crying…
– ok we are on our way home

So before you have kids make sure you are ready! Children are a complete joy and blessings! I love my babies and wouldn’t change a thing! Every sacrifice and changes we have made is more than worth it. God bless my babies.

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Marriage.

I am so heartbroken by the fact that so many people take marriage so lightly. Marriage is supposed to be a sacred sanction between two people who love and cherish each other. I completely understand that over time, people change and things happen. However, I feel like people are supposed to grow up and old with each other. Remain Loyal and Loving. I am not quite sure how one falls out of love with someone. Maybe I am being naive. It just seems like instead of working on your relationship, you just give up because divorce seems easier. All marriages and relationships have their rough patches.

“Till Death Do Us Part” – is supposed to mean something. It meant something to me when I married my husband and still does.

You should try everything you possibly can to save your marriage or work through a rough time. Go to counseling, read articles, or just communicate. Communication is a huge problem in a lot of relationships.

Instead of just  listening and taking in everything someone is saying; people either tune them out after the first two statements or go on the defensive right away.  So try your best to listen to what your partner is saying to you.  If you have a hard time verbally saying what is wrong or how you feel, write a letter. Some get very overwhelmed with their feelings and can’t verbalize what they exactly want to say.  Another huge issue is communicating over text messages or some kind of messaging application. Do not discuss important things like relationship issues through text messaging! It can make things one hundred times worse! Just do not do it! Cosmopolitan or Woman’s Day Magazine doesn’t always have the best or worst advice. Not every relationship is the same. Love is not a fairy tale, unfortunately. As we grow up we picture the perfect partner and it is not always who you end up with. That is OK! Do not give your partner expectations that only a perfect person from a fairy tale could manage to achieve.   My last piece of advice is, do not bring family or mutual friends into the situation. Do not discuss your marriage with those who will make things worse for you both. I understand that sometimes it is easier to run to a family member for help; But when everything is better, how is that family member going to treat or look at your partner? Will they dislike them? Do they know the WHOLE story? Probably not.

Ways to keep your partner happy and yourself! A happy partner usually ends up with you being happy as well.  Those who are happy in relationships can make those around them feel happy as well.

  1. Give them all your attention at some point during the day. (no phones, no real distractions)
  2. Simple reminders of how in love you are with them throughout the day.
  3. Cuddle! Cuddle! Cuddle!
  4. Appreciate them and make sure they know it!
  5. Be spontaneous!
  6. Compliment them here and there.
  7. Sweet Gestures i.e. opening and closing doors, kisses throughout your day, just letting them know you love them.
  8. Let your partner have their OWN time. Whether they like to knit, play video games, hunt or bake.
  9. Try to do things together and have fun with whatever it is you are doing. (grocery shopping, laundry, or cooking)
  10. Treat them like your queen or king.

I am not promising that this will fix all your problems or guarantee that these will make your relationship perfect. But there is nothing wrong with trying.

“Happy Wife = Happy Life!”

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I am not your average Suzy Homemaker

I am not your average suzy homemaker.

I do not have dinner ready when my husband comes home from work. There’s more days of my house being unorganized and a mess than days where its spotless. There isn’t always something baking in the oven. My house is not decorated in every room (unfortunately) . I do not wait on my husband hand and foot every day. As I am going through different blogs about family and marriage. I came across three blogs discussing an article printed by Housekeeping Magazine 1955. This article was telling women how to be good wives. I find it so entertaining that women did and still do these things every day. Yes – I am guilty of some of these. However, not every day and not to an extreme.

The Good Wife’s Guide 

1. Have dinner ready.   Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return.  This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.  Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2.  Prepare yourself.  Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives.  Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking.  He has just been with a loth of work-weary people.

3.  Be gay and a little more interesting for him.  His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4.  Clear away the clutter.  Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5.  Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

6.  Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.  Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.  AFter all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense perssonal satisfaction.

7.  Prepare the children.  Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.  They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.  Minimise all noise.  At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer and or vacuum.  Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8.  Be happy to see him.

9.  Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

10. Listen to him.  You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.  Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11.  Make the evening his.  Never compain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you.  Instead, try to understand his world of strain and and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

12.  Your goal:  Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13.  Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

14.  Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night.  Count this as a minor compare to what he might have gone through that day.

15.  Make him comfortable.  Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.  Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16.  Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.  Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

17.  Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity.  Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.  You have no right to question him.

18.  A good wife always knows her place.

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